On this day nine years ago, I sat down and created a Tumblr account. I had just been made redundant from a job I hated and between searching high and low for jobs online, I found myself on Tumblr constantly looking at all the pretty pictures it had. I decided to make my own, settled on the terrible username of ohhelloamy and off I went – reblogging images to break up my mundane days of unemployment. By the end of the month, I had 100 followers and I remember thinking WOW. Then, it just grew and grew. Even now, although the majority are inactive, my follower count on Tumblr is just under 9k. It was something I poured so much of my heart and soul into and felt like I belonged to this online community that I desperately wanted to fit into. But like myspace and Bebo, Tumblr started to decline and everyone started to migrate to somewhere else – blogger.
Like the sheep I was, I followed suit and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I have had my ups and downs with blogging – months where I post religiously and it is all I think about to months where I don’t even log in. But deep down in my heart, my corner of the internet holds a huge place in my heart. It is where I shared my favourite MAC lipsticks, opened up about my anxiety, grew some balls to take some outfit pictures and it gave me a place to vent when I feel I didn’t have that. I’ve learned so much in the last nine years and even though I’m not exactly a huge blogger, I really felt like I needed to write this post. I’m currently at a crossroads with my blog and I feel like this is the perfect opportunity to make some sort of written commitment with myself to actually do what I want to do.
I think the word influencer is almost seen as a dirty word now. Some people hear it and are interested, others roll their eyes. It doesn’t help that a small minority of people have tarnished the industry with their unethical approaches to popularity but, even though I have a blog and I am an award-winning influencer, I can’t bring myself to call myself it. I’m a blogger. I like to write. I like to take photos. I like to post stuff online. Am I an influencer? Of course. Anybody who can influence others is. But I just prefer to refer to myself as a blogger and you know what, that is cool with me?
I touched on this briefly in my last post but What Amy Did is changing soon. I don’t want to solely be about books. I want to reintroduce lifestyle and fashion content and the reason why I haven’t for so long is that I’ve been embarrassed too. My anxiety has preyed on my blog – making me feel like fashion and lifestyle posts hold no place here because I’m massively out of my depth compared to others out there. But I DO enjoy creating that content – my silly brain just hasn’t allowed me to think that it is for me. I think that is why I’ve felt so distant lately and lost because I now know, this is what my blog is missing for me personally but that is mental health for you. I’ve had a really rough 12 months and the worst of it is now over. It is time to start believing in myself more and pushing myself back out of my comfort zone. I get some followers might decide this change isn’t for them and that is ok. But this change is for me. And I owe it to myself to be true to what I want to do and stop worrying what other people will think.
With change aside, I cannot thank the followers I’ve had from day dot, even the old Tumblr days, who have been along for the online journey that is What Amy Did. This blog means so much to me. Just seeing my stats makes me warm and fuzzy inside and it makes me so content seeing other people respond to what I love and adore doing.
I don’t even know if this all makes sense given I’ve just had three anxiety attacks on the trot but, I do want to thank everyone and make it clear that I will be blogging bigger than ever before a whole decade of blogging rolls around!3